


Football Pairings/One Shots

by 13efm013



Category: Football pairings
Genre: Anger, Angst, Anxiety, Barca - Freeform, Depression, Football, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kissing, M/M, Messi - Freeform, MxM - Freeform, Panic Attack, Romance, Secrets, Self-Harm, Soccer, Unrequited Love, fcbarcelona, futbol, neymar - Freeform, no smut yet, self-hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-20 23:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9519827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/13efm013/pseuds/13efm013
Summary: Mix of different prompts for Football pairings! MOSTLY NEYMESSI! Don't hate! Hope you guys like this! Always open for suggestions!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter may include "gay" kissing and explicit language! You've been warned! Enjoy!

I promise the writing gets better! This was one of my first pieces and I don't really care for it, but I'm leaving it! My newest chapters are the better of the bunch! Check them out!

 

I don't know when it began, but I've found myself craving Leo's presence. When on the pitch, I try my hardest to score a goal or create a goal scoring opportunity just so I can be held in Leo's embrace for a few moments. When we don't have a game or practice, I'm texting him and inviting him over to my place to play some FIFA or watch a movie. When he says he's busy or it's too late for him to come over, I lay in bed and dream about him. I guess you could say I was obsessed or infatuated with him, but I can't help it! Everything about the small Argentine gave me butterflies in my chest. When he's around, everything else becomes bearable.  
I wanted to tell him how I felt but I'm wasn't sure... I didn't want to ruin our chemistry on the field or our friendship in general.  
I decided to swallow my feelings and emotions for now and just study Leo.  
\---  
I was passing the ball around with Dani and holding a conversation in Portuguese. I look over as Leo and Luis passed the ball while they laughed their bums off. I felt a pang of jealousy but quickly buried it deep in my chest.  
"Neymar, why do you keep looking at Leo like that?" I snapped out of my staring when Dani called to me.  
"What do you mean!? I'm not looking at him like anything!" He rolled his eyes in return and continued to pass the ball with me.  
We switched to sending long balls and trapping them with our chest. I stood at one side of the field and Dani stood on the other. We sent about five balls back and forth before I heard Leo's giggles. I looked over to him to see Luis and Leo both hunched over laughing together. The pang of jealousy vibrated through my chest once again.  
"Neymar! Heads up!" I turned when Dani yelled my name, but I was too slow to react.  
The ball came down and hit me in the face. I dropped to the ground instantly and held my face as blood began to fall from my nose and fill my mouth.  
I whimpered as the blood flowed from my nose onto my shirt and down my arms. I rolled onto my knees and put my forehead onto the turf.  
"What the hell Dani! Ah!" I cried out as my mouth collected blood from my teeth biting into my cheek.  
"Ney are you ok?" Leo's hand found its way to my back as he kneeled beside me.  
I shook my head 'no' as the blood continued to flow. Leo pulled on my shoulder; I sat up and turned towards him. He visibly cringed when he saw my appearance. Luis came running to us with gauze, an ice pack, water, a cloth, and a shirt for me to change into.  
"Thanks Luis." I mumbled as I began to clean myself up.  
"Here Ney, let me help you." I nodded as Leo began to wipe the underside of my bloody nose. I hissed and grabbed his wrist as I pulled back. Leo froze and his eyes widened.  
"Oh my gosh Ney, did I hurt you!? I'm so sorry!" I chuckled at his concerned side that was beginning to show.  
"No, Dani's the one who hurt me. My nose is just sore; you can continue." I gave him a smile of reassurance before he began to wipe my nose again. He finished cleaning my arms and face soon after.  
"Here, you hold the ice pack to your nose and I'll take your shirt off for you." I nodded as I tried to keep the blush at bay.  
Leo's small hands gripped the bottom of my shirt and pulled upward. After managing to get it off, he pulled the clean one over me. The blush grew on my cheeks as he gripped my waist with one hand.  
"There you go Ney. You might wanna sit down for a bit until your nose stops bleeding." He patted my cheek after he pulled me to my feet.  
I watched his back as he walked away with Luis closely by his side. Dani was standing next to me with a goofy look on his face.  
"What're you staring at Dani!" I frowned and crossed my arms.  
"I could've sworn you said you didn't look at him differently. What I just saw was a love sick puppy absorbing as much attention as possible from the man he likes." He chuckled and shook his head before dragging me to the benches to sit down.  
"You know Neymar, if you truly like him, your best bet is to tell him. Be honest and don't hide it." I shook my head and groaned.  
"You don't understand Dani, if he doesn't feel the same, it will ruin our friendship and chemistry." I kicked the ground with the spikes of my cleats as I refused to look at Dani.  
"Maybe your afraid it'll ruin something else." It was as if he read me like a book.  
I looked up to him with wide eyes and my mouth ajar.  
"W-what are you talking about Dani!? You're speaking nonsense! Oh, look, practice is over!" I hopped off the bench and ran to the locker room.  
I quickly collected my belongings and began to change my pants. I was trying to get out before Dani arrived and talked to me some more about the whole Leo thing.  
I finished tying my shoes and bolted up as I heard the voices of the team coming down the hall. The door pushed open and everyone began to walk into the room while holding conversations. I spotted Leo and Luis talking with each other as they changed into casual clothing. The same pang went through my chest and I quickly looked down to my feet. I was going to head to the door, but I was called back by Dani.  
"You can't just run from your problems Neymar! I know you are afraid of being hurt, but you can't just bottle up your feelings! It is not good for you!" He was yelling in Portuguese so most of the team didn't really understand what we were talking about.  
"No Dani! I can't be hurt again! Remember how long it took me to move on from David! I-I just can't do it again! He ruined me! And you can't say Leo is different because David was just like Leo and he still broke me! Do you not remember how long I had to see a therapist because I felt so low! My self worth was zero and I was ready to end it all! You know just as well as I do... If Leo hurts me, I won't be here to try and move on... I'll be six feet under..." I whispered the last part as my voice cracked.  
"Don't say that Neymar! You're so much better than that! Leo wouldn't hurt you like David and you know that, you just want every excuse you can find to stay in your comfort zone, where you can't be hurt! But how are you supposed to be with anyone if you live in fear!? Please, just think about all the great things that could happen if you told Leo!" I shook my head as the tears rolled down my cheeks.  
"No Dani, no one wants a broken piece of shit. Especially the best footballer in the world. His standards are much higher than a permanently ruined boy who's stuck in the past. So I'm sorry I'm not able to do as you wish Dani. I'll see you tomorrow." Dani's eyes were wide as a few stray tears trailed down his face.  
It was only after I turned to leave, that I realized everyone in the room was staring at us in silence.  
I caught Leo's eye as he stared in worry. He probably heard his name being thrown around a few times during the argument, which most likely made him more curious than anyone.  
\---  
When I got home, I laid on the couch in the dark and stared at the back of it as I faced away from everything else. I had been laying there for no more then half an hour before three knocks rang at the door. I was planning on ignoring the knocks as they continued to sound. I didn't feel like talking to anyone, but apparently no one understood that because soon enough the door opened and multiple footsteps entered the room.  
The living room light flickered on as the footsteps entered the room. My back was still to everyone and my eyes were closed. I honestly just wanted to be left alone for the night.  
"Neymar, get up! We've come over to hangout!" Jordi yelled but was immediately shushed by everyone else.  
"Jordi, he's had a long day. Just let him sleep. We can stay in the guest rooms and we'll all hangout tomorrow." Leo spoke quietly.  
"Fine, but we better be playing FIFA tomorrow since I have to wait! Goodnight!"  
"I'll take Ney upstairs to his room and just stay with him. Luis and Gerard will share the second guest room. Rafa, you can stay with Jordi in the first one since he's already there. I'll see you guys in the morning." Everyone dispersed except for Leo.  
I felt his small hand press against my forehead and wipe away my fallen hair. Butterflies took off in my stomach at the intimate like action.  
He then put one arm under my legs and the other behind my back before lifting me off the couch. I stayed limp in his arms as we headed up the stairs and down the hall to my bedroom. Leo set me on the bed and removed my shoes, socks, jeans, and shirt. He then went through my drawer and found a large shirt for me to wear. After he put it on me, he shuffled around my drawer and changed into one of my shirts as well.  
I felt the bed dip next to me and the covers being pulled over me. A kiss was then placed on the corner of my mouth by Leo. His arms snaked around my back and my face was buried in Leo's neck. I sighed in content as all my muscles relaxed and molded into Leo.  
"I love you Ney." I knew he didn't mean it as anything more than friends, but I let the butterflies fill my chest and stomach as I fell asleep in Leo's arms.  
\---  
The next few days weren't any better. I was still down-in-the-dumps. My nerves had gotten to me on multiple occasions and I'd find myself sitting in the dark of my house while crying or shaking or sometimes both.  
It was a Tuesday night, around 7 o'clock, when Leo called my phone. I ignored him the first two times, but when he rang a third, I answered.  
"Hello?"  
"Hi Ney, can you come over to my place right now? Thiago is away at his Mom's and I'm kinda bored." The line went silent as I contemplated my answer.  
"Uh... yeah. I'll be over in 5." I hung up and ran to get get ready.  
When I got to Leo's house, he opened the door after the first knock. I gave him a quick hug and walked into the house.  
"Want something to drink?" He asked.  
"Just a water, please." He nodded and made his way down the hall.  
I looked around his living room and saw the door that led to his office was open. I went to close it, Leo has a thing with doors being left open, but something caught my eye. There were books and papers everywhere. Leo wasn't the type to have clutter, especially this much, so I walked in.  
I picked up the first book on the desk, Portuguese for beginners, then the next one, Learn to speak Portuguese.  
I gasped and dropped the books onto the floor with a loud thud. Leo's rushed footsteps came down the hall and entered the room.  
"Oh Ney, you weren't supposed to see that!" He set down the waters and approached me.  
"H-how long has this been going on?" I asked, afraid to hear the answer.  
"About 7 months..." He scratched the back of his neck and looked at me with guilt.  
"So every time I've ever spoken Portuguese with Dani or Rafa, you knew what I was saying?" My hands were shaking now.  
"Y-yes." He stuck his hand out to touch my arm but I flinched away.  
"That's an invasion of my privacy! When I speak in my language, it's for a reason! So now you know everything! Every single thing I've ever wanted to keep separate from my life I have now, you know! Everything I've wanted to stay in Brazil or in the past, you know! You know everything Leo! I didn't want you to know everything because I knew that if you knew everything, you'd run!" I was shaking even more than before with anger and fear.  
"Neymar, I'm not gonna judge you for your past. I know what I did was wrong, but at the same time I thought it was right! I wanted to be able to hold conversations with you in Portuguese and I wanted us to be able to have secrets that we could talk about around the team without them knowing what we were saying."  
"What secrets Leo!?" I cried out.  
"Estou em viver com você Neymar!" My eyes went wide and I froze in my spot.  
"Y-you're in love with me?" I was extremely skeptical.  
"Yes! I've been in love with you since I first met you!" I stared at him with doubt evident on my features.  
"It's not ok to toy with someone's feelings Leo." I walked past him and out of the office. I was heading towards the door when I was pulled back and into Leo's embrace.  
"I'm not toying with your emotions Neymar. What I feel is the realist thing I've ever felt. I don't care if you're broken or ruined, because to me, you're perfect. I won't ever hurt you Neymar and deep down inside, you know that. So please, believe me when I say your the only one I want." I searched his eyes for a sign of trickery or regret, but I didn't find any.  
That's when I knew, what he said, was true. I couldn't help the wave of emotions that rolled over me. The tears began to fall uncontrollably as I buried my face in Leo's neck. My grip on him tightened. I was afraid that if I let go, I'd wake up from this dream and reality would set in. The reality where Leo is as straight as a rod and he rejects me.  
Leo pulled me back and grab my face with his hands. He stared into my eyes for a few moments before bringing his lips to mine. It was in this moment that I knew, Leo and I, we'd be alright.  
\---  
Thanks for reading!


	2. Neymessi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may include MxM interaction! Enjoy!

I was sitting in the locker room with the team after our game against Córdoba.  
I was upset with Leo and the team, but mostly with myself. I couldn't stop thinking about how much of a disappointment I looked like to my team, coach, fans, and family. I had multiple opportunities to score a goal, but I just couldn't find the back of the net. The only time I did was during a penalty!  
My first good chance, which looked promising, was swept right out from under me by my own teammate, Leo...  
He rushed passed me and tapped the ball in before I had the chance. I knew he was just doing his job, but I couldn't help being upset. I didn't show my frustration; I sucked it up and smiled.  
"I'm sorry..." That's what Leo whispered in my ear as we hugged inside the goal.  
I finished off the game with a, pretty much given, goal and I was disappointed in myself.  
"Are you alright Neymar?" I looked up to find Gerard in my face.  
"Huh, oh yeah! Just, um, tired..." I looked down at my hands as I twiddled my thumbs.  
"Are you sure Neymar? Cause you don't look ok. Is it about Leo ta-" I cut him off quickly.  
"I have to go." I stood up and ran out of the, now quiet, locker room.  
When I got home, I threw myself on my queen sized bed and buried my body under the dark blue covers. That's when I let the tears fall from my dull eyes.  
Around midnight is when the sobbing came and my screams rang through the empty house. I was surprised that the neighbors didn't come and tell me to shut up.  
I stayed in bed and cried like this for almost three more days. I only drank the water I had on my night stand when my mouth was too dry to open.  
On the third night, while I was sobbing, I heard pounding on my front door.  
Someone finally realized I've been missing...  
I thought to myself as I refused to get out of bed. I cried even harder as I thought about how long it took for someone to notice I wasn't there.  
"No one would miss me if I killed myself..." I whispered.  
I cried even more than before as I heard footsteps rushing towards my room. My door banged against the wall as it was thrown open.  
"Ney, what's wrong!?" I immediately recognized the voice as Leo's and buried myself deeper into my bed to muffle my cries.  
The covers were peeled back slowly as the cold air nipped my hot skin. I shivered slightly from the sudden change in temperature.  
"Oh my, Ney, what happened to you!? You look so, fragile and ill." He brought his hand up to my forehead and held it there for a few moments.  
"Oh, you're burning up Ney! We need to cool you down!" I had just then realized that I was drenched in sweat and I was breathing hard.  
Leo quickly removed all the covers from my body and stripped me of my clothes, leaving me in my boxers.  
He then picked me up like a bride and carried me to the bathroom. He turned on the cold tap and filled the bathtub before setting me inside gently.  
I groaned in pain as the cold water clashed with the heat of my skin. Leo brushed my wet hair back from my forehead and continued to gently rub my head.  
"Why did you do this Ney?" He asked gently.  
"Cause, I'm useless. The team doesn't need me, no one does. I couldn't score an actual goal against Cordoba. That was an easy game, and yet I couldn't find the back of the net unless the ball was set in front of the goal for a penalty!" The room became still and silent tears streamed down my face.  
"You're so wrong... The team needs you so much. But even more, I need you. That was one game Ney, you mightn't've scored the first goal according to the officials, but you assisted and created opportunities. In my eyes, we scored that goal together, and you were the most important player on the field that game." The tears came in larger quantities as I looked up to find Leo with a serious look on his face.  
"Ok Leo." I closed my eyes as I yawned, wiping the tears away.  
"You're pretty cooled. I'm gonna take you out and then dress you and make you something to eat." I nodded slightly as Leo's arms wrapped around my thinning figure.  
He laid me on my bed and shuffled around the room, collecting clothes. He then stripped me of my boxers, which I would've been freaking out about if I weren't exhausted, and replaced them with a fresh, dry pair. Then, he slipped one of my t-shirts and a pair of shorts onto me.   
"I'm gonna go make you a sandwich and get you some water." He spoke into my ear before placing a small kiss on the corner of my mouth.  
I closed my eyes when he walked away. I was exhausted from the constant crying I'd been doing the past three days. I yawned loudly and rolled onto my side, putting my back to the door.  
I must've fallen asleep because I jolted up after hearing a noise from next to me.  
"Ney, you need to eat." In front of my face was a turkey sandwich with crackers next to it and a bottle of water.  
"Thank you Leo." I looked into his eyes before quickly averting my gaze back to the food.  
I could feel Leo's eyes on me the whole time I ate my food. I finished most of my sandwich, a few of my crackers, and all of my water.  
Leo took my plate and placed it on the bedside table.  
"Now you need to sleep Junior." I chuckled slightly at this name, which my Dad often calls me.  
"Ok Leo." He smiled at me.  
I laid back down onto my bed and pulled the blankets up from under me. After settling into the bed, I turned onto my side and looked at Leo.  
"I'm gonna sleep here, ok?" I nodded and made room for Leo to lay next to me.  
He situated himself under the covers, discarding his shorts and socks. He then turned to me and placed a hand on my cheek. We were nose to nose as my eyes began to get heavy and close slightly.  
"Goodnight Neymar." Leo whispered and placed a small kiss on the side of my mouth.  
\----  
I woke up feeling slightly better than I did the past few days. I nuzzled my self further into Leo's neck as his arms tightened slightly around me.  
"Ney, I'm gonna get you some food and water." Leo called as he began to move out of his spot.  
"You don't have to take care of me Leo." I whispered to him.  
"Well somebody has to." With that he walked out of my room, only returning when he had my food.  
I sat up in bed and took the plate from Leo's hands.  
"Here's some toast with butter and a small fruit salad. Try and eat it all please. You need your strength back, as well as the weight you lost from not eating for three days." He pulled me up from my seated position and placed me on his lap.  
He picked up a slice of toast and began to feed me. I ate slowly, only taking small bites from my toast. I finished both the toast and fruit salad.  
When I was done, I rested the back of my head on Leo's chest and closed my eyes. His arms wrapped around my chest and held me tightly. He placed a kiss on top of head, then my cheek, and lastly, my neck.  
"Thank you Leo... I don't know where I'd be without you." I stared off into space as I spoke.  
"And I don't know where I'd be without you Ney."  
"Better off then you are now. That's for sure." I whispered the last part.  
"Why do you think so low of yourself Neymar? You are one of the best things that has ever come into my life. You make me a better person on and off The Pitch. Since you've come along, I've had someone to tell most of my secrets to and create a bunch of memories with. I couldn't ask for a better friend Ney." I turned and looked at him skeptically.  
"Most secrets? What are you hiding from me Leo?" I asked in a teasing tone.  
"I was really hoping you wouldn't catch that..." He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment.  
"There are two things I've been keeping from you. One, I've been secretly feeding Poker behind your back and that's why he's overweight. Although, now that you shipped him off with Davi to his Mom's, he may have shed a few pounds. Two, I like you Neymar. And I don't mean as just friends." He stared into my eyes cautiously.  
"YOU WERE FEEDING POKER BEHIND MY BACK!? I TOOK HIM TO THE FREAKING VET BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS A TUMOR! NOT HAD A TUMOR, NO NO NO, WAS A TUMOR!" Leo chuckled silently as I ranted on and on about Poker being a tumor.  
"Will you just shut up and kiss me?" Leo asked.  
I froze mid-sentence and stared at him with wide eyes.  
"I'm sorry Leo, but I don't swing that way bro." Leo's smirk dropped off his face almost instantly as it was replaced with a look of sadness and fear.  
"Kidding!" I grabbed the back of his head and pulled his lips to mine.  
\---  
I have A LOT of Neymessi in my notes. Sorry, not sorry.


	3. Neymessi

Kun was in town while we were on break. Him and Leo decided to go out for the day and 'catch up' with each other. I wasn't happy about them spending the day together, by themselves, but I wasn't gonna be the one to stop Leo.  
I became a bit worried when he left without kissing me or even saying a simple 'bye' before he walked out the door. I shook it off and told myself that he was just too distracted to remember.  
I found myself sitting in my bed and staring at the wall, overthinking everything as usual. I was only pulled out of my thoughts when the sound of breaking glass rang through the house.  
I looked at the bedside clock and saw that it was only 1:27 in the afternoon. I knew Leo wouldn't be back until late, but maybe something happened.  
I got out of the bed and walked down the hall shirtless. When I reached the top of the stairs I called down.  
"Leo? Home already babe?" I descended the stairs at a steady pace and reached the bottom to find glass spread all over the floor.  
"Leo?" I peeked around the corner to find the house being torn apart by two men.  
They were both in black sweat pants and hoodies with ball caps on. The taller one had long, shaggy hair and dark skin. The shorter on had a shaved head with pale skin and a large scar under his right eye.  
I sucked in a breath and began to back away when I bumped into the key holder and knocked it off the wall. Both of the men froze and looked up. Their eyes landed on me as I stood in the doorway shaking.  
"Um, I-I was just going." I turned and darted for the stairs.  
"Get him!" The taller man came around the corner as I reached the sixth step. His long fingers wrapped around my ankles and he pulled me back. My face slammed into the step and my mouth began to bleed as well as my nose.  
I cried out in pain as he got to the floor and straddled me so I couldn't escape. I started screaming for help but quickly shut up when he slammed me into the ground.  
My vision blurred for a few moments before I shook my head and began to fight back. I managed to push him off and stand up. I ran up the stairs and down the hall to mine and Leo's bedroom. I opened the door to the walk-in closet and flipped the lid on the keypad. I clicked a series of numbers before the panic room doors opened.  
I could hear footsteps coming down the hall, so I quickly entered the room and closed the door. The click of the lock sounded and I sat on the floor, releasing a breath I'd been holding.  
Pounding sounded at the door along with a string of profanities.  
I rested my head against the plain white wall and closed my eyes. I could feel my whole body shaking as I breathed heavily. The tears didn't take long to surface and fall down my face.  
"Leo." I whined as I wished he was here.  
I laid down on the floor and curled into a ball. I cried periodically for hours until exhaustion set in and I fell asleep. The man pounding on the door had left fifteen minutes after getting no answer.  
I woke up to the sound of the beep, telling me that someone has entered the house.  
I quickly turned on the security camera and watched as Leo and Kun entered the house. The were laughing and having a good time until they entered the living room.  
"What the hell happened here?" Kun asked loudly.  
"Damn Neymar! Always breaking my shit! I swear sometimes, I picked the wrong person to be with. He's so, argh!" I winced as Leo yelled.  
Was that really how he felt about me? He always tells me he wants to get married and start a family someday. He always says he loves me. Did he not mean it?  
I was pulled out of my thoughts by Kun pushing Leo against the wall and getting close to his face.  
"Maybe you should've chose me instead." His lips connected to Leo's.  
Leo didn't stop him, but instead he kissed Kun back.  
I had enough at this point; I couldn't watch anymore. I clicked off the cameras and entered the passcode to open the door. When it was wide enough for me to slip out, I rushed out of my room and towards the stairs. When I reached the bottom, I turned the corner and faced them.  
Leo was still pushed against the wall, but Kun wasn't on him. He was a few feet away, holding his cheek and staring at Leo with wide eyes.  
"L-Leo..." I cried out.  
His head snapped towards me and his eyes grew wide with regret. He took in my broken appearance and rushed towards me. His small arms wrapped around me as he inspected my face.  
"Ney, what happened!?" He asked in worry.  
"I-I, Leo." I whined as he pulled me closer.  
"Neymar! Please tell me what happened." He whispered into my ear.  
"They broke into the house. I caught them and he attacked me. I got away and hid in the panic room, watching the security cameras and waiting for you to come home. When you did, I saw something I never wished to. If you really don't love me Leo, if you chose the wrong person, then leave me. Go. Because I don't wanna feel the pain of knowing that something is going on behind my back. If you wanna be in someone else's arms, then go." I wiggled out of his arms and walked up to our bedroom. I got a suitcase out of the closet and began to pack my things. As I zipped the case, after packing it, I looked up to see the panic room door open.  
My breathing became heavy again as I stared at the door. My hands shook uncontrollably and my head started pounding. I grew dizzy and wobbled out of the closet. My breathes came out as pants as I stared at myself in the mirror.  
My appearance came off as broken. My body was paled and sweat covered my forehead. Tears ran down my face, fell off my chin, and onto my shirt. My nose was red and purple while dried blood rested on my upper lip. My mouth was dried red from the bleeding that took place there earlier. I turned away from the mirror and found Leo standing in the doorway.  
"Baby, I don't want anyone else. What I said, I was just frustrated by the mess. You know I love you more than anything in this World. I wouldn't trade you for anyone or anything. Please, don't leave me." He got on his knees and grabbed my shaky hands.  
"No Leo, you don't mean any of this. I can't stay." I tried pulling my hands away, but his grip stayed tight.  
"Yes I do! My love for you is the realist thing I've ever felt! Believe me!" I stood still for a few seconds before speaking quietly.  
"Then prove it."  
Leo looked into my eyes and spoke the words that changed my life forever.  
"Marry me Neymar. I don't have a ring for you, but if this is what it takes for you to understand my love for you, then let's do it. Let's get married and start a family." I nodded my head and fell to my knees in front of Leo.  
He tackled me to the ground in a hug and planted kisses all over my face and neck while repeating 'I love you' over and over again.  
"I love you too Leo." I giggled.  
"You better. Now let's get this mess cleaned up and take care of you." I nodded as he pulled me to my feet.  
I knew from that moment on that Leo and I, we were meant for each other.  
\----  
Just a quick one for y'all <3


	4. Cristessi

-Not edited-  
I've had feelings for Cristiano since the first Classico we competed in together. At first it was his skill in football that caught my attention, but all his other features, like his looks and personality, soon grasped my attention too. The way the ball moves at his feet drew me in, his looks force me to watch him longer than necessary, and his personality causes me to think about him late at night when I should be sleeping.  
I told myself to bury the feelings as soon as I recognized them, but I couldn't find the will to do it. I didn't want to forget how Cristiano's presence made me feel.  
Neymar has had this huge crush on me since he joined Barca, but I've never felt the same. He constantly hangs around me and flirts, trying to convince me to choose him instead of Cristiano. It wasn't until he approached me in the locker room, after everyone had left, that I realized how broken he was.  
"Is it because I'm not attractive? I know that's what it usually is, but I can change if you don't like my looks. Or maybe it's because I'm not as popular as Cristiano, I can participate in more events if that's what you're worried about. I'll do anything for you to choose me Leo. Just tell what I need to change." The look he gave me left me shocked.  
"Ney, I love you and you know that, but it's not the love you're looking for. I can't change who I'm attracted to, it's more than just his looks and fame. I'll always be here for you, but not in the way you need right now." I tried my best to make it sound positive.  
"Does my personality suck? Is that it? Stupid Neymar." He took his head in his hands and hit himself a few times. The sound of his cries ripped through the locker room and startled me.  
"No. Neymar, your personality is perfect! I love you just the way you are! I don't want you to change for me or anyone else. You're perfect just the way you are. I'm the one who is unworthy of you, but trust me, you'll find the perfect man someday. Keep looking." I pulled him in a hug and kissed the top of his head.  
"Ok." It broke my heart to reject him, but it had to be done.  
Cristiano and I are always compared to one another in everything we do. I didn't really like the idea of one being better than the other in everything, including parenting, but that's how the media got customers and revenue.  
I decided to call Cristiano after seeing the latest slam from the local sports news paper. It mentioned something about me claiming Cristiano isn't even close to being as good a footballer as me. This however, is untrue.  
Cristiano picked up on the second ring.  
"Hello?" He sounded rather upset.  
"Hey Cris, it's Leo. I'm calling about the latest article. I just wanted to say-"  
"Save it Lionel. We both know that statement is false. I don't know why you'd say that but honestly I couldn't care less. Goodbye."  
"Wait!" The line cut off before I could finish.  
I groaned in frustration and threw the phone onto my bed. I decided to drive over to Cristiano's and sort this out. I didn't like the feeling I got when I hurt Cristiano.  
When I arrived at his home, I walked straight in without knocking. If I knocked, he had the choice to ignore me, but if I let myself in, he'd have to listen to me.  
"Cristiano!" I called and listened for his response.  
All I got was silence , so I began up the stairs. I knew where Cristiano's bedroom was since I had been to one of his parties before. That's the first place I checked.  
I nudged open his door and walked in when I saw the coast was clear. I didn't spot him in the bedroom, so I moved to the bathroom. I pushed open the door while calling out Cristiano's name. I didn't expect to find Cristiano in his bathtub, relaxing in the bubbles.  
"What the hell Lionel!?" I could tell he was beyond surprised.  
"Uhh, the front door was unlocked and I needed to talk to you, so..." I scratched the back of my head.  
"This is technically trespassing, which last time I checked, was illegal. You're lucky I'm not in the mood to get up or you'd be in serious trouble."  
I gulped and twiddled my fingers.  
"I came over to talk about the article. I wanted you to know that I didn't say that! They changed my words! I told them that in some areas I'm a better footballer in my opinion but you also excelled past me in some things with football as well. I never said I was better than you by a large margin of whatever they wrote. I felt like I needed to clear that up with you. I'll be going now." I nodded to him and turned to leave.  
"Wait." He called as I was about to close the door.  
"You drove for over an hour with all the traffic just to make sure I wasn't hurt by a misunderstanding, the least I could do is allow you to stay the night. It's late, almost 11, you must be exhausted. Why don't you settle into my bed and I'll join you once I'm done here." I could feel the blush rising on my cheeks and I stuttered.  
"I-I don't think-"  
"Sorry, did I make it sound like you had a choice? Go now Lionel, or you'll be punished." I nodded quickly and left the bathroom.  
Should I make a run for it before he gets out or just go with the flow? I mean, a night, in bed, with Cristiano! I don't want to pass it up but what if I'm reading too much into this?  
I shook my head and walked to Cristiano's closet. I decided on wearing one of his large t-shirt from Ibiza and a pair of shorts, which were rather big on me. I then settled into his bed and pulled the covers over my small frame.  
My eyes were closed and I was quickly drifting off to sleep, when the bathroom door opened and Cristiano came out.  
The bed dipped next to me and the lights were turned off. My eyes grew wide in surprise when Cristiano's arm found its way around my waist. I was declared little spoon as soon as Cristiano settled down behind me. His warm breath ran down my neck and caused me to shiver.  
Cristiano noticed and rolled me over to face him. His hand found the small of my back while the other held my cheek. I could barely make out Cristiano's face since the only light was the full moon outside, but I could tell he was watching me closely.  
Our foreheads connected and our noses brushed across each other. I was a bit surprised when his warm lips pressed to mine, but I still kissed him back.  
When we broke apart after a few minutes, I was breathless and red. Cristiano chuckled and pecked my lips once more before pulling me into his chest.  
"Goodnight Lionel." He whispered.  
I was a bit nervous for what the morning might hold, but I knew, whatever it was, I'd like it.


	5. Neymessi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with more serious issues, such as depression, anxiety, and self-harm. Please do not read if this may trigger you.

Part one  
"Come on Neymar! What are you doing? Get the damn ball!" Luis's voice rang through the empty stadium as we worked on 6v6.  
I'd just missed a perfect pass from Leo into space. I knew I should've run into the ball, but I just wasn't able to. My legs just wouldn't seem to cooperate with my movements.  
"Sorry." I put my hand up to Luis apologetically and began to run again.  
I wanted to practice well for our upcoming game. I didn't need anyone taking my starting spot against a top competitor.  
When another pass came, I had a sloppy first-touch and lost possession. Luis sighed and I knew he was getting frustrated with my many screw-ups.  
A long ball came to my feet and I began to dribble. Luis was making a run imp to space so I did the obvious, I sent him the ball. I ended up putting too much power behind the pass and the ball whizzed past him and out of bounds.  
"Oh my..." Luis huffed in frustration but carried on.  
The last time I screwed up was when I toed the ball up and over everyone's heads, to the touch line, and into the stands. Everyone knew it was a toe ball since the sound spread through the stadium like wild fire in a dry field.  
"Neymar, get dressed and go home. You obviously have something more important you're dealing with. When you find your head, you can come back to practice." If Luis had said this, I wouldn't have been that upset, but it was Leo who spoke.  
"But Leo I-"  
"No! If you aren't gonna play correctly, then don't play at all. There are many players who would love to have your spot in the next match. You' don't have to be here." My heart ached at the truth in his words.  
"Ok." I whispered and turned away from his disapproving look.  
I could feel everyone's heated stares on my backside as I jogged to the tunnel.  
I didn't dare to meet any of them because I knew they were full of anger and judgement.  
The burning sensation in my eyes told me the tears were surfacing. I was never good with hiding my feelings, hence why Leo always knew when something was wrong... well usually knew.  
He obviously didn't realize my feelings right now. He didn't notice that I felt sad. I felt alone. I felt unwanted.  
When I entered the locker room, I threw my cleats across it. A loud 'bang' sounded when they hit a locker and fell to the ground.  
My hands gripped my hair and I began to cry.  
I was tired. Tired of pretending. Tired of smiling when I really just wanted to cry. Tired of acting like I wanted to be here. Though I guess I wasn't acting like I wanted to be here.  
I quickly threw my bag together and walked out of the locker room without looking back. As I sped through the hallways, I could hear the clack of cleats as the team headed in for lunch break. I heard Leo and Luis talking. I stopped and pressed myself to the wall.  
"-problem is, but he needs to fix it." Leo spoke.  
"Probably mad because he isn't excelling like us. You and Neymar used to be the best duo, but now we are. He's barely even making the trident anymore. He's just not as good as he was a year ago." Luis's words halted my breath.  
"Yeah, maybe." Leo agreed.  
My hand came up to my mouth to hold in my sob. I quickly bolted down the hallway and out of the doors.  
It was drizzling outside now and I couldn't help but look up to the sky and let the water drip onto my skin.  
My salty tears mixed with the rain as I walked to my car. Just as I put my bags in the passenger side, Leo's voice filled my ears.  
"Hey Neymar, about practice. If you don't start f- why are you crying?" His voice went from serious to worried very quickly.  
"I'm not, it's the rain." I explained as I held down another sob.  
"Ney, if it's b-"  
"I have to get home." I bite as I got into the car, then I sped off, leaving Leo behind.  
As soon as I got home, I threw my bags on the floor in front of the door, and ran upstairs. When I entered the bathroom, I heaved into the toilet. I could feel my throat burning as I continued to vomit. I stayed on the floor for almost half-an-hour, disposing the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I eventually fell asleep on the bathroom floor, curled into a tight ball.  
The stress and anxiety caused my body to react in many negative ways. I threw up, suffered migraines, got the shakes, and quite frequently had panic attacks.  
I never talked about my anxiety issues with anyone, in fear of their thoughts and what they'd say. I didn't want Leo to choose Luis over me because I wasn't perfect like Luis.  
The cold tile of the floor soothed my burning skin as I slept without moving a muscle.  
I woke up the next morning around 5:30. I had practice at 8, but I didn't know if I was welcome. Assuming that I wasn't, I decided on taking Poker for a walk.  
"Pokes! Come here!" I called through the house.  
The click of his nails against the hardwood told me he was approaching. Poker appeared from around the corner and ran to me. When we exited the house, I spotted Leo's car pulling up in the driveway.  
"What the hell does he want now?" A million guesses ran through my head, none of them positive, as Leo turned off the engine.  
He stepped out of the car in a pair of washed jeans and a blue, skin-tight, shirt. His hair was spiked in the front as usual, but he still looked hot.  
"What are you doing here Leo?" I asked in a bored tone.  
"I came to inform you that we're having a meeting today with the team, no coaches or staff, just players, to decide what we're going to do about your recent episodes at practice." I scoffed loudly and rolled my eyes at him.  
"What are you guys gonna do? Sit me on the bench?" I know I shouldn't have said it, but the anger I felt was becoming too much.  
Leo shrugged his shoulders and turned his back to me.  
"If I were you, I'd think of a really great excuse as to why you've been slacking." Leo called back.  
"And what if I don't need to think? What if I really do have a reason?"  
"Then I guess you'll have to share it at the meeting. Be in the locker room by 9:30." He left after he finished his statement.  
I was beyond surprised that Leo talked to me as if I was his enemy. Leo was always Switzerland in conflicts between teammates, but now he was picking sides... He acted like he despised me and I was no one to him. Then again, I was already replaced by Luis...  
\---  
I entered the locker room at 9:27 and took a seat in front of my section. The locker room had been booming with laughter and jokes, but was now full of whispers.  
Dani and Rafa came over and sat on either side of me.  
"I'm so sorry Kiddo. I know they don't understand what you're going through, but this is uncalled for. They should've checked on you instead of hounding you and throwing this on you. You need to tell them the truth." Bile rose in my throat as I thought of telling them how depressed I've become, but I held it in.  
"I love you guys." I hummed in response as the room grew quiet and Luis and Leo stood near the doors.  
"Ok, we obviously need to have a discussion about some things that have been going on lately. First of all, we have a game Monday against RM, so everyone needs to be putting their all into these practices, not taking it easy. Which brings me to my next point, Neymar, you've been really slacking lately. I'd understand if you had a good reason for not playing at your best, but you obviously don't have one. So-"  
"Wait a hot second Suarez! How do you know he doesn't have a reason for his down-in-the-dumps attitude!?" Dani interrupted.  
"Cause he hasn't given us-"  
"Well maybe if you asked, instead of assuming, we wouldn't be having a problem right now." Dani's tone was deadly as he glared at Luis.  
"No Dani, it's f-"  
"It's not fine! Your feelings matter Neymar! When will you get that through your head!? Tell them the truth!"  
My heart stopped for a short moment and I froze. My palms were sweating and my fingers were shaking. I could feel the panic rising in my chest as everyone waited for my reply.  
Leo's stare was curious and a bit concerned as he waited for me to say something.  
"I-I..." I looked to Dani and he gave me a slight nod.  
"I'm tired..." I whispered.  
Luis's laugh rang through the room and caused everyone to look at him.  
"So you're putting in little-to-no work because you're tired? Well so are we Neymar! We practice 9-5 everyday! Doesn't mean you can 'take it easy'!"  
"No, that's not..."  
"What? You wanna take that back? Too late, we all know just how weak and out of shape you are now." I stared at him wide eyed.  
My breath left my body and sweat began to build on my forehead and neck. My hands scrunched up and my whole body began to shake.  
"Wow Luis! Low blow!" Dani stood and grabbed my face in his hands.  
A tear fell from my right eye and made a temporary home on Dani's thumb.  
My breaths became airy and my vision blurred. I gripped onto Dani's shirt and pulled. My forehead pressed against his chest as I let out a gasp for air.   
A desperate whine left my throat as I tried to make myself calm down. I thought of things like Poker and Brazil, but everything always ended up back to my current situation.  
The tightness in my chest grew as I struggled to stay up right. The dizziness I was experiencing was the worst I'd ever had.  
"Shit. Look what you did Luis! Someone get Ramón!" Dani held me by the shoulders and whispered positive things to me.  
Leo approached me cautiously and spoke lowly to Dani.  
"What's wrong with him? What's wrong with Neymar?" Leo's eyes were wide.  
"This is what he meant by 'tired'. He's depressed, Leo. He's struggling to get through the day and suffers from anxiety. He's afraid of not being enough and feeling unwanted." Tears left my eyes as my truth came out.  
Leo's hand reached out to touch me, but I flinched away and stood up.  
My head was spinning on an axis as I stepped from Dani's grip and made my way towards the door.  
Luis had a dumbfounded expression masking his face as he watched me.  
"Screw... Screw you Luis!" I wheezed.  
I collapsed into Dani's arms as he grabbed me from behind and held me tight. I closed my eyes and allowed the darkness to start its takeover.  
I was almost out when Ramón entered the room and rushed to my side and began an examination.  
My shirt was quickly removed and gasps rang through the room.

 

No... Not those too...

 

I fell into a deep sleep as Dani lifted me off the cold ground and carried me.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may deal with depression, anxiety, and self-harm. Please do not read if one of the above may trigger you.

Part two (Not Edited)  
\-------  
"You need to see a therapist Neymar..." Ramón whispered quietly.  
The team was hovering outside the office door, waiting for answers. I wasn't going to give them any though.  
"No it's fine. Those scars are old. And I'm managing my anxiety and depression just fine." I tried to sound confident but it came out more like a question.  
"I'll text you a list of my personal favorites tomorrow. You'll attend twice a week for an hour each time. This is not a recommendation if you want to keep your spot on the team. Are we clear?" I gulped and gave a slight nod.  
"You're free to go then." I stood up and paced slowly to the door.  
As soon as it opened, the teams heads were up and waiting for me to speak. I simply walked through the parting crowd of teammates and grabbed my bag from the bench.  
"Ney..."  
"Save it Lionel." I didn't spare him a look back as I marched out of the locker room and out to my car.  
"Fucking ugh!" I yelled and slammed my fist against my car roof.  
A small dent appeared and I sighed in frustration. I pressed my forehead against the window and dropped my bag to the pavement.  
A stray tear fell from my right eye as I thought of everything that just happened.  
"You're such a fuck up..." I whispered against the glass.  
I sniffled and brushed the tear from my cheek with my shaky fingertips. The car door opened easily and I tossed my bag into the passenger seat.  
The seat sunk a bit when I sat down and shut the door. My fingers shook as I tried to put the key into the ignition. A knock on the window caused me to jump into the air and shriek.  
"What the hell Dani!" I bit as I rolled the window down.  
"Sorry kid. Just informing you that we don't have practice tomorrow. Also, if you don't go to your therapy sessions, I will personally kill you." His face was serious so I knew he meant business.  
"That doesn't sound too bad right now..." I whispered.  
"Pick your head up Ney. We'll get you through this." He ruffled my hair and placed a kiss on my forehead before walking away.  
\---  
"Neymar!" I looked up from the boring magazine is been reading.  
A man in a grey suit stood in the door with a clipboard and papers.  
I stood up and walked towards him.  
His white hair and wrinkly face mad him look like a helpless, old man, when in reality, he's probably better off then half the country.  
I sat down on a black, leather chair that was equipped with a small leather pillow. The old man sat in a similar chair across from me.  
"So Neymar, I've talked a bit with you trainer and he's given me an insight of what I'm dealing with. Before I say anything further, could you tell me what's going on?" I looked away from him as my hands began to shake.  
"I-I'm fine." I squeaked as my forehead began to sweat.  
"Now there is no need to lie to me Neymar. I'm here to help, not judge you. So, let's try this again, what's going on?" The silence that filled the room made me squirm as his gaze burned holes into me.  
"I'm... Fine." The old man sighed and began to scribbled on his clipboard.  
My fingers grew shaky and my breath thinned as the ticking of the clock filled my ears.  
"Your next appointment will be Friday. Come ready to talk, okay?" I nodded and shot out of my seat.  
The time it took me to open the door and get to my car was equivalent to the blink of an eye. The atmosphere in that room gave me the chills and made me weary of the Doctor.  
I knew Ramón was going to hear an update on the appointment and report back to coach. I knew there would be consequences for the behavior I planned on taking up. Yet, I decided to hide away in my shell and now, well now I'd probably be losing playing time. All my fears we coming true and it was only making matters worse.  
The familiar exhaustion I've felt for quite sometime decided to make itself known as my head began to pound and my eyes hurt. All I needed was a nice long nap in the warmth of my bed.  
\---  
My plans of sleeping were crushed when I pulled into my driveway and spotted Leo's car. I dragged my hand down my face and groaned as I thought about having social interaction instead of a nap. I took a deep breath and got out of the car.  
Clicking the lock button twice and hearing the car honk, I marched towards the front door. I turned to knob and pushed the door open hastily.  
When I entered the living room, I felt Leo's presence on my couch. I looked up as I pulled off my shoes and set them next to the door.  
"Can I help you Lionel?" He huffed before standing up.  
"How did your session go." I frowned.  
"Great. Now please leave." I walked away towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water.  
"You don't sound very convincing Neymar. Tell me the truth please." His voice came out desperate.  
"Why do you care?" I asked with a hint of anger.  
"Because I always have." I shook my head and chuckled.  
My mind didn't know what to think as it ran in a million different directions. I put my empty water glass in the sink and leaned back against the counter.  
"Sure, and I'm American. We can keep coming up with exotic lies all night if you want. It's your turn." I spat sarcastically.  
"Neymar. Stop being so childish and listen to me. You know somewhere deep in there, I care." His finger poked my chest over my heart.  
"Yeah? Well you have a funny way of showing it, huh?" Leo sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.  
"You don't have to pretend. I know what you're feeling, every second of everyday that I'm with you. I know you like the back of my hand." He spoke softly.  
"Then what am I feeling right now?" I asked.  
Leo took a step forward and uncrossed his his arms.  
"You feel like it's you against the world. You feel trapped and alone. You feel like you're in a sea of hate and you're hanging on by a thread. You feel like no one understands what you're going through, like no one has ever felt the same pain that you're feeling now. But that's where you're wrong. I've felt that pain. I feel it everyday. Do you know how many times I've failed my country? How many times I've disappointed them? How many times I've been blamed for not trying my best? I'm reminded every single day of how I can't seem to win anything for them. About how I am not the best footballer because I let the whole country down. My self worth is like a roller coaster that's constantly dropping ten feet, but only going up one. I'm never good enough for anyone! I fail everyone, including you... And for that, I'm sorry..." Leo's eyes were filled with tears and his breaths were heaving and sobs wracked through his body.  
Leo fell forward as his legs gave out and I caught him swiftly in my arms. I held his fragile body as he cried his hear out. The sound of his cries making me realize that Leo is just like me, the only difference is that he is good at hiding his pain while I wear mine on my sleeve.  
"You didn't let me down Leo... I let myself down..." I whispered.  
\---


End file.
